The Art of Decision Making

I wanted to share some reflections on something that comes up often in therapy: the weight we place on our thoughts and decisions, and how that pressure can sometimes feel overwhelming.

First, let's talk about thoughts. They're simply the brain doing its job—firing off electrochemical signals, producing ideas, reactions, or even random images. Thoughts just appear; we don't consciously create or control them. Some might be mundane, others uncomfortable or strange, but none of them inherently define us. They're not “good” or “bad”; they're simply thoughts. This distinction is important because it helps us create space between ourselves and what our mind produces.

Decisions often feel just as heavy, as though there's a “right” or “wrong” choice to make every time. But what if the concept of a “right” decision is an illusion? Instead of focusing on perfection, we can view decisions through the lens of their consequences. Every choice we make brings inevitable outcomes—some that may challenge us, and others that may help us grow. The key isn't avoiding discomfort but understanding that discomfort is part of the process. It's a sign that we're engaging with life fully, even when it feels messy or uncertain.

This is where values come in. Thoughts can be fleeting, irrational, or shaped by fear. But our values—those deeply held beliefs about what matters most to us—provide a steady compass. When we make decisions based on our values, we root our actions in something meaningful rather than reactive. 

The beauty of making value-aligned decisions is that it allows us to live with integrity, regardless of the immediate outcomes. We can't avoid consequences—they're inevitable—but we can face them knowing we acted in alignment with who we want to be. 

I encourage you to practice tuning into your values rather than letting thoughts or fears dictate your path. Discomfort will come and go, but it doesn't have to derail you. Instead, see it as part of the journey—a sign that you're engaging with life and moving toward what truly matters.

You're navigating all of this with so much courage and intention. Trust in your ability to handle the ups and downs—you're doing better than you think.